In my posts, I frequently discuss the topic of self-care for leaders. It is a topic on which one can write for years and never write all there is on the subject.
Today, I would like to address the topics of anxiety and fear. I am not a psychologist and am not qualified to write about the clinical nature of anxiety, 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗮𝘀 𝗮 𝗳𝗿𝗲𝗾𝘂𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗽𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗲𝗿 𝗼𝗳 𝗮𝗻𝘅𝗶𝗲𝘁𝘆, I am qualified to write on how we can deal with worries and fearful situations that might burden us, as we seek to lead.
Without a doubt, how we respond to situations, perceived, threats, etc. is influenced by our life experiences. So, can we change how we react in different situations? Can we, in essence, deprogram ourselves, recondition ourselves, and build new mental models that help us to respond differently than we have in the past?
𝗜 𝗯𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗲𝘃𝗲 𝘄𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝗻.
Often, as leaders, we have a lot to fear. The source of our fear can be any number of things that have not yet happened. We may fear:
Not being receiving a significant grant
Not reaching our end of the year financial goals
How we are going to work with a new, incoming board chair
Whether a certain former toxic employee will sue us
And the list could go on…
➡️ 𝗪𝗲 𝗼𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗻 𝗱𝗼 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗳𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘀𝗲 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺𝘀𝗲𝗹𝘃𝗲𝘀, 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗲𝗾𝘂𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺. 𝗪𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝘆 𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗽𝗵𝗶𝗰 𝘀𝗰𝗲𝗻𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗼𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗱𝘀, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗱𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗮𝗻𝘅𝗶𝗲𝘁𝘆.
Anxiety can be insidious, impacting our moods and relationships--the essence of how we lead--and we may not even know it.
But, note what I said above: “The source of our fear can be any number of things that have not yet happened.” We get bent out of shape, develop fear that produces anxiety over things that m͟a͟y͟ happen. Why do we spend so much time and energy fearing things that haven’t even happened yet?
I call such thinking fearthought, based on Winston’s Churchill’s observation that it “[I]s futile worrying over what cannot be averted or will probably never happen.”
If you are anxious, ask yourself "What do I fear?" Then, “What is the probability this event will even happen?" "Is it inevitable?" "Am I trying to control it?"
Over time, you can change how your respond to things that might cause you anxiety. You realize you are focused on anticipated, feared outcomes.
➡️ We have such limited precious brain space and energy, 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱𝗻’𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗯𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗼𝗻 𝗽𝗼𝘀𝗶𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀, 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗹𝘆 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗼𝗻𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗴𝗲𝘀, 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗳𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝗼𝗿 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝗻𝘅𝗶𝗲𝘁𝘆 𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗮𝗰𝘁 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗮𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝘁𝗼 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗱?